Getting Personal with Gray – Gray Expectations 10

This is what I thought I'd look like.
(This is what I thought I’d look like.)

O.K. so I have to be completely honest. I’m sort of over it, the gray thing. No, I’m not going back on my plan just yet but hear me out.

As women, feeling good about yourself is extremely important. I surmise that’s true for just about anyone. For some it’s rockin’ a great outfit, or it may be pretty lingerie. For others it’s having an incredible hair day. I don’t know about you, but an incredible hair day ranks right up there with a chocolate truffle.

But let’s admit it, when we’re having a bad hair day or can’t find a single thing to wear somehow the day just doesn’t have its normal pizazz. When my hair looks great, I feel great. When I have the good fortune of actually pulling together an outfit that matches, (where are the adult Garanimals?) I feel like I’ve won the lotto.

So the gray. I feel like I have perpetual bed head. Remember I was telling you about the different textures of gray? Yeah, well I pulled the short straw, mines wiry.

I looked back on the comments from many of you and was reminded that it doesn’t matter what color your hair is if you feel good!  I know it’s early in the game, so how can I really tell?  Well, let’s run through a few of the comments I received when I started this project.

  • “Why would you want to look old? As long as there’s hair color, I’ll never be gray.”  Since I embarked on this experiment, I have met some lovely gray haired women. I can’t really say it made them look older because they wear it so well. So I’m not ready to say I look old. Drab? Yes. I’m beginning to look drab which translates to feeling drab.
  • ” I would never color my hair. I’m proud of every gray hair I have, I’ve earned it.”  Will wrinkles suffice? God knows I’ve earned those. Further, if you FEEL good gray that’s brilliant.  Regardless of hair color, most take the time to get it cut and styled because it makes them feel good. Therefore, it keeps coming back to personal preference- what makes you feel good?
  • “The only reason I don’t have gray hair is because it washes me out, but otherwise I’d do it.”  Common theme, how one feels. If you look good, do it. But if you don’t feel good about yourself why keep it, right?

    Wiry gray.
    Wiry gray.

I’m sure all of you have a color or style of clothing you never wear. You don’t wear it because it doesn’t suit you. I’m a brunette with olive skin, I’d never go blonde. Eeek! Not to mention my contrasting black eyebrows wouldn’t make for a good look.

At this point, it’s not that I don’t feel good about myself, I just feel like I’m wearing something that doesn’t compliment me. These thoughts take me back to the initial reason I started this whole thing.

Will the way I feel internally change?  Well, it has a little bit. I’m realizing that going gray is not about wrong or right, it’s what compliments me.  I don’t wear hats because I don’t feel good in them, while others do. Some woman glow in yellow, I appear jaundiced. The point is that we don’t wear things that don’t look good on us, and I don’t think hair color is any different.

So here’s where I’m at with this. I will continue on this journey because my curiosity is still alive and well. However, if I notice that I’m avoiding going outside for fear of people seeing  my hair well then it’s time to make a change. As my friend said to me, “Life is too short not to feel pretty.” I couldn’t agree more.

So another day, another bit of gray. For now, I’m good.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.


Here’s to never wishing for more time, rather making the most of it!


7 responses to “Getting Personal with Gray – Gray Expectations 10”

  1. Nicki, I applaud your experiment. I have dishwater blond hair (sometimes it looks blond, sometimes brown), and I am pretty sure it’s going to be awhile before I go gray. I used to highlight my hair, but stopped for financial reasons (I actually like my hair darker, and can maintain that color myself, but hubby likes it lighter — except he doesn’t like the pricetag that accompanies good highlights, and I got tired of listening to the screeches, so I just stopped). Anyway, this isn’t about me, its about you. I personally love the look of a few gray hairs as they come quietly into notice on a woman, but I have a friend who abruptly stopped coloring, and she looked like she had a skunk stripe up her part line.

    I say, if you can make it look gradual, and (here’s the important part) you LIKE the way it looks, get it, sister. If not, it seems you’ve got a good colorist at hand. It’s all about how it makes you feel. You wouldn’t wear a blouse that looks great on a hanger, but horrible on you, right?

    • Dee. I guess that’s what I’m realizing it’s a lot less about looking old, and more about what suits me. And you’re right, I have to like it.

  2. Nicki,
    Judging from the photo, I’d say it’s a bit early yet to know how you’ll feel. Also, this is a terrible time of year for hair in general, and gray hair in particular. With the dry air and static, it’s going to “fly away” more easily. But I totally hear what you’re saying about having a “bad hair” day. Congrats on making it this far. I hope you’ll be able to continue to hang in there, for the sake of your own curiosity. 🙂

    • I know Carmela, I’ve got about 2″ of growth. The fact that winter weather and heat is brutal on hair of any type doesn’t help either. We’ll see. Like I said, it’s like trying out a shirt, or a new make-up and looking at it knowing it doesn’t compliment me. 🙂

  3. Life’s a journey and it’s YOUR journey. I say this – you’d look great no matter what. Love your curiosity either way.

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