“Self-compassion builds the bridge to authentic connections.” – N. Anderson

Self-Compassion and Love-led Leadership

Self-compassion was a tough one for me. I was raised in an environment where self-compassion was silly and soft. Self-compassion was selfish and woo-woo. Therefore, negative self-talk was the acceptable option. Go figure.

As we go through life, we encounter many teachers. If we’re lucky, some teach us the value of self-compassion because they embody it.

I remember having a pretty rough year business-wise. I was chatting with someone who later became my mentor. I said, “I’m such an idiot. How did I not see that coming? I should have never done this. I have no clue what I’m doing. I feel like a tremendous failure.”

She looked at me and said, “Would you say those things to me if I was struggling with my business?” I answered, “Of course not, you’re my friend.”  She said, “Exactly. So why do you talk to yourself like that?” She went on to ask what I would say to her in the same situation.

I said, “I would say that you’ve done an amazing job. Tough times happen. You’ll get through this stronger and wiser. You have a passion for this; it’s what you’re meant to do. Give yourself some grace.”

“Now, isn’t that a much kinder way to speak to yourself?” she asked.

Be Patient with the Process

Ugh. I never realized, until that point, how often I was mentally beating myself up. Over time, I could only imagine how that had limited my confidence, resilience, and overall happiness.

Embracing self-compassion takes a lot of time. It’s reminding yourself that the same grace and compassion you give others, you need to give to yourself. Eventually, there’s this self-acceptance that happens. You get that mistakes happen, life happens, no one ever gets through life making the perfect decisions all the time. No one. We are human, and humans are magnificently, curiously flawed.

The Power of Self-Compassion

When we begin the consistent practice of self-compassion, we are not only able to engage more honestly and openly with ourselves but with others as well. When we’re able to lift the weight of self-judgement and insecurity within ourselves, we can then practice it with others. It’s freeing.

For some great information on self-compassion, check out Dr. Kristin Neff’s – Exploring the Meaning of Self-Compassion and Its Importance

How Are You Doing with Self-Compassion?

Here’s to Leading with Love!

Love,

Nicki