Self-compassion is what keeps your heart open when life gets heavy.
– N. Anderson
This quote came to me so clearly last week.
Likely because right now, life is heavy. The world feels like it’s on fire, literally and metaphorically. (I always wonder about this, as it seems every generation has their “crisis,” and every generation thinks theirs is the worst.) There’s injustice, conflict, climate crisis, leadership failures… and on top of that, the everyday pressures of work, family, relationships, and trying to keep it all together.
Don’t Let Guilt Rule
When you care deeply, it’s easy to fall into the trap of guilt: I should be doing more. I should be helping more. I should be showing up better.
And if you’re wired for leadership or service, the weight of not being enough can feel like carrying the world on your shoulders. And that weight is heavy.
The truth is, beating yourself up doesn’t serve anyone. You can’t lead with love when you’re focused on all that you can’t do. You can’t show up fully when you’re constantly judging yourself for not showing up in the way you think you should.
That’s where self-compassion comes in.
In Dr. Kristin Neff’s book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, she says:
“Rather than wandering around in problem-solving mode all day, thinking mainly of what you want to fix about yourself or your life, you can pause for a few moments throughout the day to marvel at what’s not broken.”
That right there is self-compassion, stepping back to marvel at the good in you and around you. Stay with that for a minute.
Self-Compassion Eases the Load
Practicing self-compassion doesn’t mean throwing your hands up or curling into a ball somewhere. It means staying in it, but from a place of care instead of criticism. It’s letting yourself be human in these times. It’s pausing to say, You’re doing what you can. Your care is enough, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Louise L. Hay puts it simply:
“Remember, you’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Wow. That’s so good!
Keeping Your Heart Open
Self-compassion is what keeps your heart open. It’s what allows you to stay connected to the world without beating yourself up or shutting down. It helps you figure out what’s yours to carry, and what’s not. It lets you love yourself while you love others.
In love-led leadership™, this matters more than ever.
Because how you treat yourself shapes how you lead, how you listen, how you show up when things get hard. Compassion for yourself becomes compassion for others.
So if you’re feeling the weight of it all, take a breath.
Yes, it’s heavy. And yes, you’re doing what you can, as best you can.
Honor that. Stay there for a bit.
Let self-compassion lead. Let that be enough for today.
Love,
Tags: believe, compassion, grace, hardtimes, hope, keepyourheartopen, leadingwithlove, loveledleadership, patience, selfcompassion