For some, the holidays bring joy. For others, they may bring grief. Be gentle with each other and leave room for both. – N. Anderson

Here we are, the most wonderful time of the year. Lights, tinsel, carols and presents. Isn’t it great?  Well, maybe for some, but not for everyone. And honestly, it wasn’t always that way for me either.

For a long time, the holidays brought up some hard stuff. Old memories, complicated feelings, things I didn’t really want to deal with, especially when it felt like everyone around me was all in on the joy and Christmas spirit.

The Pressure to Be Merry and Bright

I used to think that I had to put on a happy face. Like there was some rule that said, “It’s December, so you better be merry and bright!” But the truth? That pressure only made it harder. Over time and with the love and patience of some really good people in my life I learned to reimagine the holidays and make them my own. I’ve found new traditions that feel meaningful to me and my family. I’ve let go of the idea that I need to be “all in” or that I have to celebrate a certain way just because everyone else seems to.

I’m not the most Christmas-cheery person, and that’s okay. Full disclosure, I refuse to listen to Christmas music before December. And when I do start listening to it, it’s not 24/7. For some that’s hard to understand, including some of my family. But they still love me.

New Traditions, New Meaning

Again, this time of year I have come to see and celebrate differently. It’s no longer something I have to “get through” but now I value it as a time to reflect. To reset. To connect with family and friends and even those I may not know in quiet, real ways.

My faith has played a part in all of this, of course. But whether you’re a person of faith or not, I think this time of year naturally invites us to pause. To take a look at what the past year brought us and taught us. The highs, the lows, the growth, the challenges. It’s a season that can be celebratory, but it’s also deeply human. And well, we humans are complicated.

A Reminder for All of Us

So, if I may, here’s a gentle reminder: not everyone is feeling festive right now, and if that’s you (or someone you love), you’re not alone. A lot of people are carrying things we can’t see and it’s magnified during the holidays. Grief, anxiety, memories that still cause pain. Let’s give each other a little extra grace. Let’s not assume everyone is okay just because it’s the holidays and we should all be happy. Not true. Give yourself permission to redefine what this season means to you, not by the expectations of others, but by what brings you peace, purpose, and maybe even a little hope.

Here’s to leading with love,

Nicki