“In the past I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to the awareness of gifts received, but now I realize that gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love.”              – Henri Nouwen

We often think of gratitude as something we express when life is good, when things are going right. But here lies the paradox: some of the most deeply grateful people I know have walked through real struggle. Loss. Illness. Disappointment. Yet, somehow, gratitude still thrives.

Over the years, I’ve come to understand gratitude isn’t about having a perfect life. It’s about how we choose to see the life we already have.

Henri Nouwen put it beautifully: “Gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love.” I love everything about that quote.

Widening Our Lens

Like many people, I used to think gratitude was something to be expressed when everything in life was aligned. But life doesn’t always align, does it? And still, we are invited to practice gratitude. This isn’t to deny hardship; it’s simply a way to live more fully within it.

Our brains are wired to notice what’s wrong. What’s missing. It’s a survival instinct. But gratitude challenges that default setting. It shifts our focus. Again, not to ignore the hard stuff, but to hold space for the good that coexists with it: a kind word, a fall sunset, the first crocus pushing its way into a new season.

Gratitude, when practiced with intention, helps us widen our lens. It becomes less about what we have, and more about how we see.

(Side note: someone once told me that looking at life through rose-colored glasses was a way to avoid reality. But in my experience, gratitude is what grounds me in reality. It helps me notice the small things that actually help me through difficult times: reconnecting with an old friend, time with my grandchildren, quiet moments of reflection. These aren’t escapes. They’re reminders.)

Gratitude as a Source of Strength

As we celebrate Thanksgiving, many of us hold two truths: we are thankful, and we are exhausted. We see beauty, and we see struggle. We feel joy, and we grieve what’s been lost or changed. And that’s okay.

Gratitude doesn’t ask us to be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows all the time. It simply asks us to pay attention. To practice seeing through a lens of all that is verus all that isn’t. To pause long enough to notice that there is always good to be found, if we just look for it.

At Love-led Leadership, we believe that gratitude can be a source of strength. When we live our gratitude, not just feel it, we show up with greater presence, and awareness.

So maybe the invitation this Thanksgiving isn’t just to say thank you for what we have. Maybe it’s to ask: how can I live my gratitude?

How can it shape the way I lead, love, serve, and show up in the world?

Because even when the world feels uncertain, love is still a powerful force. And gratitude might just be the doorway through which it enters.

Wishing you all a very Happy and Peaceful Thanksgiving.

Love,

Nicki